It seems everybody is diving these days. Tour operators sell package deals so you can swim in tropical waters, local people take amateurs diving and so the pastime, that was previously reserved for the nobs is gradually becoming democratised.
Although one could think the democratisation of hobbies or sports is solely a good thing, nothing is farther from the truth when it comes to scuba diving. In a valiant effort to warn people about the numerous life-threatening situations a dive can put you in, I have created the Dangers of Diving blog. I fully realize there will be blood. Avid scuba divers are, much like football hooligans, utterly devoted to their pastime and would die defending it. Which they of course shall, sooner or later, for diving is quite possibly the most dangerous activity known to man (save eating a razor blade cocktail or making sweet love to a tiger).
In any case, your loyal servant and teacher DoD will make a tremendous effort to present an objective and scientifically supported image of diving.
Today on DoD a little bit of information about the Deadly Murdering Monsters of the Ocean. Divers like to think they own the water. Why wouldn't they? Humanity rules the world, doesn't it? They bring their own oxygen, a badass knife and a sexy, tight wetsuit. They are truly kings among fish.
Or are they? Many people, and especially divers, tend to forget the oceans are a wild environment, perhaps the last true wilderness left on our planet. Forget about jaguars, lions, hyenas or bald eagles. Their isolated populations are but pitiful remnants of once great species. The deep sea, however, is an entirely different matter. All kinds of horrifying, prehistoric monsters call these waters home. The most famous of these perfect predators is of course the Great White shark. Below you can see a size comparison to your average diver (courtesy of Wikipedia).
Big, innit? But something gets lost in translation here.
That's the one. Is it a garbage truck with huge, serrated teeth? This, my friends, is 1000 kilos of crazed, man devouring, flesh shredding killing machine. Granted, it's bite force of about 47 kilograms per square centimeter isn't all that impressive when compared to say crocodiles or gorillas, but with 3000 7,5 centimeter, serrated razor sharp teeth, who needs bite force, ey? These huge sons of bitches don't really need to chew the wetsuit filled with delicious diver-stuffing to a tasty red paste, though. They mostly just shred unfortunate divers to pieces before swallowing bar stool size pieces. Yum!
In the spirit of absolute objectivity (which I try to achieve at all times), not all divers who are attacked by this swimming nightmare kick the bucket. Some are just horribly mutilated.
Jesus H., I can't even imagine the agonizing pain. Luckily, there is a very simple way to avoid these kinds of wounds or even a gruesome demise. Don't dive. Not ever.
So, boys and girls, I suppose that's enough 'THE MORE YOU KNOW' for one day. I'll be back soon with more Dangers of Diving. I could probably keep writing this blog for years and years, since there is nothing really save about diving.
DIVING
NOT EVEN ONCE
Disclaimer: I realize I'm giving Great Whites a bad rep here. That is not my intention. They are unique, magnificent creatures. If not for divers, their reputation would no doubt be one of piece and love.
