Cloudy Clown

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	Thoughts from the soul.
	Army of me
	Healed.
	Shamelessly, shamefully open.
	Growing numb emptyness.

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Cloudy Clown

01-06-2016

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Unclear clarity.

Okay, my calculations are once again done.
Again, I have a new chapter on the run.

Everyday, I tell myself " 2 more years..."
And when I think of that time in general, who the hell cares?

But 2 more years isn't just nothing to me.
I've alredy lost the whole life that lies behind me, you see?

I'm stuck with this fear of never making it in time.
But what the hell is "it" evrn, where to do I climb?

It's always different scenarios of the same circumstances.
And in between that: some writings, some dances.

The worst part of it all, is the everlasting changing "decor",
when from some places, I had expected so much more...

But what more can I say when I'm forced to stay on the run?
Is it still a surprise then, that my soul's so undone?

Maybe some day soon, when I return to those places,
I'll have the chance for some new embraces.

And even though, many think it is anger to which I hold on still,
It's thrir own minds and possibilities they kill...

For every single soul, dance, place or anything else that I once held dear,
I still do so for each and every single one, beneath the fear.

Hoping we will some day meet again,
hoping this all yet was not the end...

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