I havent
been well today, one second Im freezing cold the other one Im sweating
because its too hot. Afraid of getting a cold I decide to stay in tonight
watch a film and crawl into bed in time. So at half past eight in the evening I
settled myself with my laptop in bed and started watching Remember me with
Robert Pattinson. If there is anything that can help me feel betterits a romantic film with a gorgeous man in
it! A half hour into the film I can hardly keep my eyes open, so I decided to
put it off and go to sleep. See this would have been a good plan back at home
but it isnt when youre living in a student hall. See its a Friday night and
one of my flat mates decided to invite some friends which meant that every ten
minutes someone was banging on our front door. On top of that there were cars
honking, fire truck sirens, ambulances and just busy traffic going on just
below my window. I desperately tried to ignore everything but I just couldnt.
See Im used to sleeping in a room where you dont hear any noise accept for my
own breath maybe. After an hour of fighting my surroundings I really started to
miss my own room with my big bed that feels like a perfect cloud when I lay
down in it. While I was picturing my room and trying imagine the feeling of my
own bed, it hit me. A tear went down my cheek and I suddenly missed you so
much. I missed your soft little ears which I always squeeze when Im lying next
to you, your hairy bottom and your big belly. I missed the feeling of your head
against mine. Ive known you since I was nine and its the first time weve
been separated for such a long time and Im having a hard time with. And the
worst thing of all is that you normally always there for me when Im sad and
now Im so sad and I cant hold you. No matter where we were in the past I
always felt home when you were with me but now home seems so far away.
I come home from school, I'm beat from paying attention the entire day and all the information that I had to absorb. When I walk into the living room I throw my bag into a corner and drop myself into the couch, finally I can relax. Mom is in the kitchen preparing dinner and I can hear my dad coming down the stairs eager to hear how my day has been and looking forward to dinner. He cheerfully walks into the living room with his empty cup of coffee in his hand and smiles at me before he says: "So, how was your day at school?". I can't wait to tell him about what I've learned, how weird some of my teachers are and how annoying that one person in class was acting. See that's the great thing about coming home, being able to spill all the emotions, thoughts and frustrations that have been going on in your head. In the meanwhile dinner is ready and my mom asks us to have a seat at the dinner table. hmmm dinner smells awesome, fresh soup and vegetables from the kitchen garden, is there anything better than that?! The following 30 minutes we talk about everything we've done that day and how we felt about it. After dinner I go up to my room to work on some tasks for school and around eight o'clock my dad comes knocking on my door asking if I want to take a walk outside. Our own sacred hour in which we philosophize about the world and tell each other our dreams and wishes. When we get back home we put on our pyjamas and gather into the living room to watch midsommer murders, lewis, zone stad or so in silence. In the middle of the episode my brother comes back home and ventilates about his day at work. This entire ritual has such a comforting feeling about it. When you come home to your family it doesn't matter whether you talk a lot or don't talk at all, it doesn't matter whether you're happy or sad. No matter what, your family is there for you, they know you through and through. they know how you'll react, how they need to react, when they have to say something or just listen, they know what's important to you and what isn't. They are you're own little Cul-De-Sac crew with whom you feel safe and at ease. When you live in halls with people whom you've only known for 4 weeks everything is entirely different. You don't feel alone because you're surrounded by people who are busy and making noise. Allthough a lot of them became friends in the last few weeks, they don't KNOW me like my family does and therefore you aren't that comfortable around them, you can't just sit and be quiet with each other. Your family won't judge you no matter what you say or do but your flatmates will so you can't really ventilate with them. I'm having a really could time here at Greenwich university and in the four weeks that I've been here I haven't really been angry at anything or anyone but the weird thing is that I miss being angry and being able to yell and scream to my brothers. I think this is something only people who have brothers and sisters can understand but allthough you hate the fact that you fight with your brothers it is one of the things you miss about them. The fact that you can yell at each other for no real reason but perhaps letting off steam can be so liberating sometimes.
