TAMPA, Fla. – Superstars leaving the Raw locker room Monday night were abuzz about Mr. McMahon’s odd behavior. One said he appeared “a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”
Others thought McMahon’s eyes looked vacant – like the lights were on, but no one was home. He mentioned an “ominous feeling” and a “black cloud” that was following him all night, but no one seemed to understand what he was talking about.
Fact is, if you had gold around your waist Monday night, or had golden locks of hair, you were a target for Mr. McMahon, who appeared to be suffering traumatic effects from losing his ECW World Title at One Night Stand.
Could the boss have suffered brain damage from Bobby Lashley’s blows on Sunday? Or was there something more devious on the mind of McMahon?
First, WWE Champion John Cena was victim to the Chairman, who accused The Champ of mocking him for losing his title. He then put Cena in a Triple Threat Match against Umaga and The Great Khali, which he survived.
Next, McMahon bumped into Santino Marella, who chastised the Chairman for yelling at Maria. That rebuke got Marella placed immediately in an impromptu Intercontinental Championship title defense against Chris Masters, in which the Italian wonder came out victorious.
McMahon saw The Hardys’ shiny World Tag Team Championships, and put them in a title defense against Cade & Murdoch, who capitalized on the weakened Carolina brothers to steal the gold away, ending their two-month title reign.
And then, the Chairman’s coup de grace was his meeting with Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson in the arena hallway. After the pair made the mistake of giggling at McMahon, the former champion made the injured Wilson face former boyfriend Carlito, and made the 16-time World Champion square off with the Legend Killer Randy Orton.
Torrie met Carlito in the ring, and at first, the apple-toting Superstar seemed to show pity. He allowed the injured Diva to walk away and take a count-out loss once the bell rang. But as she turned her back to walk away, Carlito threw her to the mat. Then he picked her up and gave her a Backstabber to earn the disgraceful victory.
Flair tried to fend off Orton, but the Legend Killer conquered the Nature Boy with an RKO and a devestating kick to the head.
The only match that McMahon didn’t mess with was another victory for Diva Candice Michelle, who teamed with Cryme Tyme to top the team of Melina, Johnny Nitro and Kenny Dykstra. It was Candice’s fourth straight win over the Women’s Champion in as many weeks.
However, next week’s WWE Draft might be just the thing to help the Chairman recover from his clouded condition. McMahon had Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman announce that the three-hour selection spectacular from Wilkes-Barre, Pa., will also be “Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night.”
A heaping helping of praise for Mr. McMahon could snap the boss’ funk and better his mood in time for the excitement of the WWE Draft on Raw next week.
But then again, so might a handful of Prozac.